let's talk about today's assembly.
throughout the assembly,
DM was saying
SIT STAND SIT STAND SIT STAND.
for millions of times.
i do until my leg was so damn painful.
&&& we are listening to him.
talking about his "JOKES"
he thinks that his joke is funny.
actually it's totally not -.-

well, i gonna say that i am rather sad & disappointed now.
i know i am not trustworthy okay!
HAPPY?!
if anyone doesn't trust me,
then might as well don't talk to me!
don't keep telling others the secret you have.
then say don't tell me or whatever.
i don't need all the FAKE SMILE.
& talk to me for the sick of talking.
I REALLY DON'T NEED IT!
all i need is to have a person who really trust me.
and not a person who act friendly infront of me.
when the heart is scolding me non-stop.
i only want a friends who will share with me their trouble/secret
*if they are willing to*
I WILL BE VERY PLEASED!
if you willing to share with me,
i will feel very contented,
the feeling is just like..
YOU TRUST ME THEN YOU WILL TELL ALL THESE. RIGHT?
it's the feeling which i can't use simple words to describe.

i know i used to be a small little gal who is very "BIG MOUTH".
tell other people about your secret even you told me not to.
without thinking & i said everything out.
BUT BUT BUT.
always remember,
human will change as time goes by.
i am now more mature in thinking.
and i know how to think twice before i say anything to anybody!
i am not the 4/5 years-old's YANYI anymore.
i have a brain to think too!
i thought that as i am growing older.
maybe everyone will trust me more than before.
but, i found out that it's not!
i really thought that you ,people, can share your trouble and secret with me.
sadly, i have to prove that i am really wrong.
they still share their secret among themselves
& think that i am invisible.
since you doesn't want to tell me.
FORGET IT!
i won't ask or anything.
if you doesn't want to tell me,
i keep asking also no use.
correct?
it will only make myself look dumb.

I AM SORRY IF I HAPPPENED TO OFFENCE ANYONE.
i am just very sad..
i am just speaking the truth from the bottom of my heart.
& that's how i feel.
but i am really really very sad to know that i am still not the person who you ,people can trust.

please don't mention this post infront of me ever again.
if you read it.
just read & forget it.
i don't want to explain anything to anyone.
maybe my best friend...YES (: